Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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