Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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