i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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