Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
