So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Everclear isn't food dammit
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
