and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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