Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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