i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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