absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
