Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
