puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
