she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Randomize
