Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
