I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
