Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
