So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
