You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
