is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
