"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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