Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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