i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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