so explain again why im purple
no
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
