so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
