her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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