Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
