I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You need a sexual gate keeper
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
