Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
