So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
