She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
