just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
