Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
