I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
