Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
