i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
two words...techno handjob
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
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