stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
