Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
