he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
