anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
