he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
