I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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