How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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