Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
