Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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