apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
