i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
