windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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