She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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