So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I skipped work to stalk him.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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