Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
