you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
